Tuesday, March 20, 2018

“It is spring again.The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart.”

quote by Rainer Maria Rilke

I created a new playlist to celebrate spring. Listen away. ♡

Saturday, March 17, 2018

Things of Yesteryear 02

Hello! Yesterday I bought some intriguing old photographs at a few antique stores I visited. I have always marveled at the fact that every photograph has a story, an emotion, and a life all its own and to think that people would give up such precious treasures is beyond me. Some may find old photographs unsettling, creepy even, but I see so much beauty and history captured within their sepia tones. There's something so special about buying old photographs. It gives me a wonderful, deep feeling that I am preserving history, that I am preserving their untold stories. Now, I share them with you. <3

P.S. The last photograph is rather interesting. Before you take a look at the photos below I wanted the briefly describe the strangeness of the eerie last photograph. It looks like limbs of light are coming from the sky tangling near the roaming sheep. There even appears to be a name within the light that almost seems to say "Elina". How odd is that?!?

Which is your favorite?

Trapped                                                                                                Baby Bill

Girls in White & The Shadow Men

 The Foliage of a Girl

The Cat Lover

Me, Myself, and I

 Laken 1846                                                                             The Floating Infant

Light and Sheep

Monday, March 12, 2018

A Week of Peculiar Adventures

My sister came home from college for spring break which gave us some time to go adventuring together. We dressed up for no apparent reason last Saturday and I drove us to a quiet rivertown while listening to playlist after playlist. We ate at a local diner downtown where we wholeheartedly enjoyed our meals that were extremely fried and sipped on chocolate milkshakes. We went antiquing and saw a random man in one store walking a toy dog as it danced to the song "Tequila" sung by The Champs. It was a very random site to witness but my sister and I tried to (unsuccessfully) hold in our laughter. The man then declared to his wife that two dollars was far too pricey for such a dog and he walked away as if nothing had happened. The song "Tequila" will forever be a reminder of that dancing dog and the serious man. 

We then admired the gorgeous old houses and swore that if we both ended up being old maids, we would find a home in this serene downtown location. We decided to walk on a nearby sidewalk by the river and imagined it would be such a carefree, poetic thing to do. Little did we know that it had recently flooded in the area so sticky mud covered the walkway and the air had the foul odor of turtles and tea (if you can even imagine). Since we had our hearts set on a walk along the river, we continued on as we hopped and tiptoed over mud patches and admired the scenery...which was trees drowning in the river water. It looked a bit too depressing for our taste so we hopped back hoping to escape the lingering fishy smell in the air. It was an altogether odd and exhilarating experience but our adventuring did not end there.

If you thought it couldn't get any weirder, you are sadly mistaken, my friends. On Sunday my friends, sisters, and I dressed up as Narnia characters because it was Book Character Sunday at our church. I was Mr. Tumnus and loving it of course. Now, what would make this whole situation even odder? Well, we went to Taco Bell and the park...completely in costume. We got a couple of weird stares but we didn't mind because there's nothing better than eating tacos and attempting British accents at a park with fellow Narnians, right? 

On Friday we went to a movie theater to watch "A Wrinkle in Time". It was magical, and I may be slightly obsessed with the movie playlist now. My youngest sister, who was sitting by me, decided to put her Dachshund stuffed animal in the seat cup holder in the dark theater. I grabbed the dog accidentally because I thought it was my drink. My sister was alarmed of course and asked me what I was doing. I laughed for a full two minutes before I could explain that I thought her dog was my drink. Before you say, Eve what in the world is wrong with you? How could you have mistaken a stuffed animal for a cup of soda? Well, in my defense I had a rather long day. Earlier that day I had taken an exam that made me feel like literal death, had written a large paper, and was surviving on five hours of sleep. College has been all well and good I suppose. I wouldn't say it is something I enjoy though. Last week was midterm week which was exhausting and completely horrible. Luckily I made it through and I haven't lost my mind yet which is a plus I assume. I could go on and on about the stress of college but pondering on such things makes me feel like my life is "a perfect graveyard of buried hopes" as Anne would say.

On Saturday we went to a local event where they had a meal that consisted of a variety of meats which was ironic since I'm not a big fan of meat in general. I'd rather live off carbs for the rest of my life. I tagged along with my church to the event because the people in charge of the meal had not allowed women in previous years but had changed the rules this year. So I, of course, being the feminists I am, went to the event where I tried some very interesting types of meat. They had squirrel gravy which tasted good until I thought of the cute squirrels that were no longer living. It didn't make me feel any better when there was a large amount of squirrel hair in the gravy (which made it seem even more alive). Maybe I should be a vegetarian...

Anyway, enough about my crazy self. How are all you lovely people doing? 

Saturday, February 24, 2018

A Glimpse of Spring

The dust once settled on the top of my bones falls away into the icy shadows I leave behind. This day dances swiftly across the winter and gives me a glimpse of warmth and sunshine. After a full days work of teaching and learning, I long to be outdoors. To be filled with scents of fresh soil and something sweet in the air. The weather has risen from ice-coated houses that once seemed frozen for years. The sun spills unsteady light as it warms my pale skin and awakens my tired soul. The wind pulls me into my backyard as my body surrenders. Nature had once seemed so dead and dormant but it is now alive, it begins to thaw as it catches its breath. The pine trees sway with excitement as the dance of spring continues.  My heart was asleep in the corner of my chest, numb from hurt feelings, but now it beats wildly with sheer joy. I laugh at the ridiculous and wonderful fact that it is only February, snow was on the ground a few days ago, and now I have a day drenched in sunlight as the breeze tangles through my tresses. I am alive, I am awake. I welcome this season of life with outstretched arms and an opened mind even though this beautiful day is only a snippet of what is to come.  Although today will not last forever and winter will return, this day is a promise, that even when it feels bitter and cold, the warm days are coming to cascade colors of blue and green that will fill the gray skies and will paint the barren ground and nature will dance once again. And I will be there, waiting to request an encore as I watch its symphony of movement and light perform as if it is welcoming the season of growth and inviting me to dance along.

Monday, February 5, 2018

An Apology // a poem

I’m ever so sorry dear,
I just will not submit
To be your little lady
Who must always hide her wit.
I must apologize honey,
I’m a person not your pet
I cannot be kept on a leash
Caused by your twisted mindset.
I’m awful sorry baby,
Do my words upset your mind?
I’m sure your Misogynistic brain
Has left you rather blind.
But sweetheart don’t be hurt,
I know you mean well
As you put me in my “place”
Yet I can’t help but kick and yell.
But don’t you worry boy,
I’ll get out of your way
I’ll be living a life of freedom
As you beg of me to stay.
Because honey I’ll be fine
Without you and your lies,
For I am a woman dear
And I am no one’s prize.

Monday, December 25, 2017

5 Gifts I'm Thankful for This Christmas

Merry Christmas!♡
Today we celebrate our Savior's birth. 
In honor of Christmas, I decided to make a post about the gifts God has given me recently. 

God has tested my patience repeatedly this season. Whether it be through dealing with children's tantrums and their squabbles at work or wanting something that I believe will fulfill me in my own life, God has taught me patience through it all. Even though I have felt overwhelmed at times recently, somehow God has given me the strength to be patient with those around me as well as with myself. I can be very hard on myself being the crazy perfectionist I am. God has taught me to not be so hard on myself and to be patient with my anxious heart. 

This one may surprise you. Who in their right mind would be thankful to have their heart broken? Even though I have gone through a lot of emotional pain recently after the loss of my baby cousin and relationship issues, He has taught me that there is beauty within the pain I endure. He has taught me to look for Him in these painful moments, to see His grace and mercy. I asked for healing and without me knowing it at first, He bandaged up my wounds. It will take time for them to completely heal but just knowing that He cares so much about my heart makes me ever so grateful.

God has given my life meaning. He has led me to a career that I am so thankful for. I am going into the Early Childhood Education field and couldn't be more content with such a choice. He has given me a passion and love for teaching. I teach a group of dear four-year-olds. Perhaps things in my personal life haven't gone quite as planned, I am trusting that God has a purpose for my life. That He will use me in some way to help those around me. To use my gifts for His glory.

My little students taught me so much about this. Their childlike faith and optimism encouraged me to put more of my trust in the Lord. They needed no help when it came to trusting God and I admired their beautiful innocence. It's no secret that trusting God has been a struggle for me. Trusting Him when I felt like He had betrayed me by not answering my prayers made me wonder if He really was a merciful, loving God. I questioned him repeatedly. I was angry that He didn't do what I wanted Him to do. I was upset that a merciful God could seem so merciless. Every day I asked for trust, and I began to lean on Him. I began to trust Him even though my future was not known to me. Though I felt alone, He was there. The fact that He would always be there for me no matter how large or small my problems may seem filled me with such peace.

I am so grateful for this gift. It is so hard to find peace in such a busy, loud world. When I needed Him, He would give me this sense of peace that calmed my worrisome heart and my busy mind. I found this sacred peace within music, poetry, and nature. I took and continue to take long walks in a field in my backyard. There is a small, beautifully woven tree that can only be seen when I am deep in the field. For me, it is my symbol of peace. I first met this tree when my heart was only beginning to ache with the weight of life. I saw it in the distance and a small path leading to this tree had already been created. So I followed the narrow path and found myself face to face with its bare branches. The sun had begun to set and its light shadowed the tree into a beautiful silhouette. My eyes watered, I smiled, I felt a gentle warm within me despite the biting cold. That is when I knew everything was going to be alright.

Friends, what gifts have God given you this season?